Arranged Marriages

A dedicated spot to discuss serious issues.
User avatar
adi4pino
Advanced Member
Posts: 852
Joined: Sun Feb 25, 2007 12:48 am

Arranged Marriages

Post by adi4pino » Mon Jun 04, 2007 9:58 am

What are your veiws on arranged marraiges... do you agree with them or do you despise them?

User avatar
Dr-evil
Diamond Member
Posts: 4009
Joined: Mon May 29, 2006 12:37 pm
Location: in front of da pc 8-)
Contact:

Post by Dr-evil » Mon Jun 04, 2007 11:34 am

as an asian a think they are perfectly acceptable within the “asian community" and this is due to the fact that we've grown up with such customs/traditions. Plus in an arrange marriage you are given a choice to marry or not to marry so you can back out if you don't wanna get married, and a think sometimes arranged marriages are mistaken for forced marriages and this then shuns the asian community somewhat. :shock:

a got mixed feelings on it a would agree with, and this is because naturally the parents would want to do good for their children and find the prefect partner, and not try putting them in a situation which can have a negative impact on their future.

but then again its up to us who we want to get married with, as its our life our future etc <<< LoL that’s a common saying :roll:

however if you choose your partner but your parents arrange everything, would it still be classed as an arranged marriage or a love marriage :P :?:
Vice President of the Ladoo Crew.

User avatar
cuzzy
Silver Member
Posts: 1881
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:41 am
Location: Bham Massive
Contact:

Post by cuzzy » Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:55 pm

hmm good topic i think arranged marriages are the most successful because the gaurdians consent is also given and are happy with the decision.....you also get to know a little about ur spouse 2 be before you get married
lemme come back home then me give a good essay for all of you to enjoy reading :D

User avatar
shortydark
AM Newbie
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 3:55 pm

Post by shortydark » Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:49 pm

honestly..i guess its acceptable..long as the person is willin to go thru wit it....but as far as my personal opinion weather i would wanna do it or not..hellz no...i wont lie..im' sure dats wat my rents want for me..n i dont know how da hell i'ma avoid it..but i cant see myself spendin my life wit some1 who i dunno..i didnt fall in love iwt......now dont get me wrong..i'm sure u will get to kno da person..hoepuflly even fall in love wit em n all dat good stuff...but then on da otha hand...wat if u neva get along? then wat???

i wanna be wit some1 who i know awhile b4 i marry em..n live wit em...n i wanna be wit em..cuz i wanna be wit em...not cuz i got pushed into something....

User avatar
-MissS-
Administrator
Posts: 908
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2006 8:34 pm

Post by -MissS- » Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:58 pm

I think the definition of an "Arranged Marriage" is different for some South Asians compared to what some caucasion people make of it.

I do not agree with FORCED arranged marriages, where the couple concerned are just married for the sake of it, and don't even eventually develop any real feelings for each other. However, thankfully in most cases, the parents from both sides only want the best for their kids, so maybe the kids can trust their judgements. HOWEVER! I DO NOT agree with SOME people who arrange their kid's marriage for the sake of the guy being a doctor, or the girl being from some "oocha khandhaan with a rich family background". That to me is pure shallow!!

Arranged marriages in my sorta context is something I think is perfectly acceptable. I.e. if your parents introduce you to someone, and you decide to see them a few times and see how you feel first, then I think that is acceptable, because no one is being forced in to anything. The sorts of families who do this (ie my family) are also open to the girl/boy finding someone and then intro'ing them to their rents. At the end of the day, the parents want their kids to be happy in most cases, so this is perfectly acceptable too.

It comes down to: Love the person you marry, or marry the person you love. Both can work!!
Remember where you heard it first - AsianMix.net

User avatar
SparkyDarky
Radio Presenter
Posts: 323
Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:40 pm
Facebook: AsianMixRadio
Location: West London
Contact:

Post by SparkyDarky » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:04 pm

Arranged Marriage tho its a outa date thing i dont know i guess i wouldnt be to fussed aslong as i had a while with d person am gettin arranged up with 2 see if me n her could work out,however i'd still pefer if i jus hooked myself up n IF (which i dnt fink would happen) me ask my rents or family 2 hook me up with a freshie hehehe

kp86

Post by kp86 » Thu Jun 07, 2007 3:02 pm

erm.... good topic.... well.... i think all kinds of marriage is crap... to be honest with... love/arrange marriage... some of them end crap...anyways...

but with me i would properly... say arrange marriage at this moment of time... beacuse your parents know you well enough to choose you one... and they also thing abou there own marriage and they don't want it like theirs... do you hear me??... or am i notmaking sense again...??....

and if i did find a guy and i loved him... then thats a different story...

lets see what happens :oops: :arrow:

User avatar
noorie69
Platinum Member
Posts: 3250
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2006 5:48 pm

Post by noorie69 » Thu Jun 07, 2007 4:18 pm

interesting one pino, i agree with miss s about forced arranged marriages, u should always have a choice in who to marry or things can go really wrong.
mine wos an arranged marriage and it is brill mashallah, parents agree, every1s happy...... arranged marriages r more successful then choosing ur own partner for various reasons. so i wud say i agree with em :) :)

User avatar
paki_girl_19
Advanced Member
Posts: 570
Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:42 pm

Post by paki_girl_19 » Fri Jun 08, 2007 2:58 pm

As long as your not forced then its all good.

My sister had an arranged marriage and shes happily married and she got to know the guy over a period of time, before she actually got married to him.
Be what you want and say what u feel.. because those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter....

User avatar
cuzzy
Silver Member
Posts: 1881
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:41 am
Location: Bham Massive
Contact:

Post by cuzzy » Sun Jun 10, 2007 1:09 pm

if you personally wish to have an arrange marriage then e=why not at the end of the day it's you who is going to spend your life with your 'spouse 2 be' not anyone else

i think people shouldn't say 'im doing it for my parents' etc because like i said tis your life you are gonna have to live it not your parents or gaurdians etc

theres a difference between Aranged mariage and Forced marriage..arranged is getting to know the person before you get hitched and you wish to get married.....forced is when you dont have a choice and dont get to know the guy before marriage

User avatar
Dr-evil
Diamond Member
Posts: 4009
Joined: Mon May 29, 2006 12:37 pm
Location: in front of da pc 8-)
Contact:

Post by Dr-evil » Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:47 pm

cuzzy in many forced marriages people know the girl/boy before, its not like the only time you see them in the hall, mandir or bedroom (that goes back in the grandparents days :P).

But they objected against it maybe cause they didn't want to get married to that specific for various reasons e.g. looks, education or they have a boy/girlfriend, and emotional balckmail and death threats from the parents (usually the mother) made them accept they have no way out
:D
Vice President of the Ladoo Crew.

User avatar
x Meenal x
Advanced Member
Posts: 317
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2007 4:49 pm
Location: North-West London [NW Finest]

Post by x Meenal x » Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:51 pm

I think that back home it will be acceptable.. but I dont think that in here UK any youngsters will agree to it..

beacause:

1. Were not back home

2. Things in UK are wayyy different!
*Indian Pwincess!*

User avatar
cuzzy
Silver Member
Posts: 1881
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:41 am
Location: Bham Massive
Contact:

Post by cuzzy » Wed Jun 13, 2007 6:18 pm

lol oh ma badd dr evil i meant to say:
often dont get to know the guy before marriage
Asianhunny how are things different in the United Kingdom compared to back home? :shock:

User avatar
Dr-evil
Diamond Member
Posts: 4009
Joined: Mon May 29, 2006 12:37 pm
Location: in front of da pc 8-)
Contact:

Post by Dr-evil » Wed Jun 13, 2007 6:44 pm

cuzzy a major difference between back home and here is modernisation and the acceptence of free will (even though some people might be deprived of it, a guess each to their own) :roll:
Vice President of the Ladoo Crew.

User avatar
cuzzy
Silver Member
Posts: 1881
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:41 am
Location: Bham Massive
Contact:

Post by cuzzy » Sat Jun 16, 2007 10:15 am

Dr-evil wrote:cuzzy a major difference between back home and here is modernisation and the acceptence of free will (even though some people might be deprived of it, a guess each to their own) :roll:
not in ALL asian families :oops:

Post Reply